Day 7 - A letter to my ex boyfriend(s)

Here's a letter for each one of you who had made a mark in my life.

Dear first ex, I'm sorry I've hurt you (about four to five years back). You were my first love, my first boyfriend. You're the first guy who ever held my hand, first guy who ever hugged me and the first guy who ever kissed me. You'll always come to my class to talk to me once you reached school every morning before assembly and sometimes you'll even buy snacks for me. I'll never forget that once, you bought some snacks for me and secretly put it inside my bag and I was so shocked when I opened my bag during lesson time! You're also the first and only guy that my dad caught holding hands with and I 'ran away' from home, fearing that I'll get caned. I was only 14 then and it was obviously damn scary when my dad's face was as black as justice bao! You're the first guy I've spent valentine's day with (okay actually not exactly) but more of like the first guy who gave me a valentine's day present. Eight months of relationship ended because I've hurt you, I fell for another guy. I know I'm a bitch then but feelings is really hard to be controlled (and this only happened once, there's no second time!). I'm still very sorry but very thankful too because you're still a good friend now, okay more like a brother (:

Dear second ex, I gave up the first for you despite knowing that you're his friend. The first four months of relationship with you in 2007 and another four months relationship in 2008 after breaking up for a year were more like a hell than heaven. It took me almost another year to fully get over you. You wouldn't know how much you meant to me last time (but probably you do). Each time when something reminds me of you, I'd feel so foolish. So foolish of how much I've forked out, how much I've liked you, how much I've cared for you, how much I've always been giving in to you, how much I've been so disappointed and upset, how much tears that I've shed, how much I've struggled through and that I'll never know how much I meant to you in the past, not until now too but it doesn't matter anymore because I know we're world apart. I'm still thankful though. Because of you, I grew up and most importantly I've learnt so much.

Dear third ex, you appeared in my life in 2007 after the first break-up with my second. I really hated you because you played with my feelings. I was merely a rebound and you treated me like a princess to try to get over your ex-girlfriend. I've no idea what's wrong with me then to help patching both of you up after breaking up with you but it was a right choice because you'll never be someone I'll choose right now. Nevertheless, thank you for all the memories during those two months, I really felt like I'm a princess but there's always a day that I need to up from the sweet nightmare.

Dear last ex, I really don't regard you as my ex-boyfriend because you were just part of my life for a month and I doubt it was a serious one. Yes you've hurt me, more than anyone else does because you're the reason why I've lost a four years good friend, someone whom I used to trust so much and confided everything to. I wasn't jealous but upset that my good friend actually chose not to tell me anything about it. Some people are right, I shouldn't be feeling that way but you guys just wouldn't know how depressing it was when someone you trusted so much did this to you. Maybe you should try standing in my shoes and get a bite of it. I don't dislike you but dislike myself for knowing you. It was the biggest mistake in my life, at least till now, it still is. I'm glad I've seen your true colours and that it was merely a short while. Because of you, my guards are all up. Well and I guess you'll probably be a stranger to me for the rest of my life.

A past will always be a past, I've no regrets and I'll still be looking forward to the future because I know it'll be much better than all these (: