I randomly read this at thought catalog and found it really interesting and would like to share with all of y'all :> Anyway girls are the targetted audience but I suppose it may be applied to guys as well (but on another hand, maybe not).
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Wish as we might and despite what romantic comedies would have you
believed, there is no magical answer to finding the perfect mate.
Discovering if someone is the right one for you usually takes some time.
Although we may wish to act solely on instinct which can be helpful in determining if he is the right one, it is important to give it time before reaching that final decision.
While there is no set-in-stone policy for finding love, there are 5 signs you can use to determine if he is the one.
Sign #1 He is the right one – You respect one another
When it comes to figuring out if he is the right one, respect should
be at the top of the list. Respect is also something that should go both
ways. He should respect you and you should respect him, in turn.
You can tell he respects you when:
- He is willing to compromise.
- He listens to your concerns and feelings.
- He notices when something is wrong and asks you about it.
- He values your opinion.
- He appreciates you.
- He is genuinely happy for you when you succeed.
Sign #2 He is the right one – He has the qualities you’re looking for
Ideally, you should know ahead of time what qualities are important
to you in a mate. Trying to figure it out after the fact can lead to
serious problems. If you have a good idea of the qualities you are
looking for, the ones that are the most important, it will help you
determine if he is the right one.
It helps to write a list. Select at least 10 qualities you are
looking for in a man. Put that list in the order of importance. Take a
serious look at the list and cross off any qualities that aren’t so
important. Some qualities are probably negotiable. If that is the case,
they can likely be removed from the list. The idea is to get down to at
least the top 5 non-negotiable qualities that you are looking for.
All of this must be done by keeping 2 important things in your mind.
First, no one is perfect. If you are looking for Mr. Perfect, you might
as well stop looking and recognize that perfection simply doesn’t exist.
With that in mind, know that you don’t have to just “settle” for “good
enough.” You want to have the confidence of knowing that he is not
someone you have simply settled for but he is the right one for you. The
list of qualities you are looking for will help determine that.
Compare your list of top 5 non-negotiable traits and compare it to
the man in question. Remember, these were non-negotiable qualities that
you selected, so if he doesn’t fit all of them, there is a good chance
that he is not the right one for you. It’s surprisingly easy to fall
into the trap of trying to change your standards, but you should never
change your standards to fit someone else. You can’t make someone be who
they aren’t.
If he meets every one of your non-negotiable qualities, chances are good that he may be the right one for you.
Sign #3 He is the right one – You share the same values
What do you value most? What values make up the life you have chosen
to live? These are important questions to ask yourself, as they will
help determine if he is the right one for you. Values are usually
in-line with those non-negotiable items that will give you a clue as to
whether or not he is the right one. If you don’t share the same values,
consider that to be a red flag.
An important factor to consider is if you find yourself compromising
your values for him. Values really make up who we are. If you are
changing your values in order to please someone else, then you are
essentially trying to change yourself and that is never a good sign in a
relationship!
Values are something that should be discussed ahead of time. Don’t
guess at what he values most in life, ask him! If he doesn’t seem to
have any values, or he can’t articulate them, that might be another red
flag to look for. A man of real substance is flexible, but will possess
firm, well-reasoned values.
Sign #4 He is the right one – Your intuition tells you
Your intuition should never be ignored. At the same time, it
should never be the deciding factor. Your intuition should serve as a
guide, something you rely on when considering whether or not he is the
right one.
Intuition is more than just how physically attracted you are towards
him. It goes beyond that to a place deep inside where you just seem to
“know.” It’s usually just a sense or a feeling that this person is the
right one.
Whether your instincts are saying he is or isn’t the one, it’s an
important consideration. Many times our instincts are right. Of course,
our best instincts can be wrong and someone can present themselves to be
something that they are not. This is why intuition is only one sign to
consider in determining if he is the right one for you.
Sign #5 He is the right one – You can be yourself with him
You will not be appreciated or valued by a man who tries to change
you or who cannot love you, flaws and all. So if you can be who you are
when you are with him, he might just be the right one for you. This
means he not only accepts the good in you, but also your weaknesses and
faults. When you can be yourself, you will experience a sense of
freedom. You will have confidence in knowing that he accepts you just as
you are.
When taking these 5 signs into consideration, you will have a good idea if he is actually the right guy for you.
So girls, have you found your mr right?
