One of those days when thought catalog becomes a good friend of mine and chancing upon this passage which I could relate a lot to, and I supposed many others too.
"You learn not to assume things. You learn not to assume that the day
you spent together in bed and took photos of each other against that
white wall was important to both of you. In reality, only one of you
will ever care about that day. Only one of you will flinch when you see
the white wall again. The other person will forget it ever happened.
You’ll have to remind them, years later when you meet for coffee, about
the pictures and you’ll feel so stupid for holding it so dear. Why do
you have to be the one who remembers that day? You assumed that your
memories would be the same. You didn’t know that one gets to forget and
the other has to remember.
You learn that the person who once protected you from all harm could one day become the harm. They could become the thing they spent so much time shielding
you from. That’s how it always seems to work though, doesn’t? We give
people power over our lives, we let them dictate the rhythms, and then
we act surprised when there’s scratches.
You learn about the cruelty of time, the cruelty of fickleness. You
learn that it’s possible for the person who knew you the best to
eventually know nothing at all. You counted on them always knowing. You
took solace in someone keeping score. But reliance is the first thing to
go in a break up. You lose the right to call someone. You lose the
right to ask how they’re doing. Imagine that. One day you had a VIP pass
to their life and the next, you’re shut out completely. They’ll tell
their grandma more things than they’d tell you.
You learn how bad heartbreak can hurt. All of a sudden you’ll be
relating to sad love songs and feeling like such a chump. You listened
to them before but never quite understood why they had so much resonance
with people. Then you realized that it’s strictly for people who’ve
dealt with the loss of love.
You’ll learn terrifying things about yourself. Most notably, the fact
that heartbreak will turn you insane and obsessive. It makes you
irrational and cripplingly nostalgic.
Most importantly, you’ll learn that it will all be okay in the end.
Just like time killed your relationship, it will also be the thing that
repairs you. Eventually enough time will pass that you’ll have nothing
left to mourn.
You’ll develop swiss cheese holes in your memory about
the relationship. All you’ll recall are occasional flashes of happiness
and feel grateful for it. You understand that this is just how life
works. You fall in and out of love with people until you land somewhere
that makes sense. You’ve learned a new secret about life and people. You
get it now.
It’s bitter to know. It’s better to know."
