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Monday, September 22, 2014

Monday Musing

Yes hi guys, it has been a long while again. I've been quite busy (and lazy) lately if you're curious and that I haven't really gone out to cafe-hop and snap some visuals thus I didn't feel like I have anything to blog about. Oh and the fact, my five years old laptop died on me recently and I can only use my sis or bro's laptop now.

Since it's a monday today, as usual, I'm always the one who reach home first as I kinda dislike heading out after work during weekdays. Surprisingly, I just feel like typing some rants / whines / feelings / thoughts / whatsoever which you deem it as today. However before that, I will share this paragraph from this article from thought catalog which I have similar sentiments.

"Here’s the thing we don’t realize about the parts of ourselves we hide away from the world: those secrets, those little half-truths end up owning us. We define ourselves by the things we are not saying, by the things we keep on our heart we don’t let out. And, we become consumed almost entirely not by what we are doing, but what we are not doing; not by what we are saying, but what we are not saying. Our secrets, our little betrayals we commit onto ourselves, our I’m fine’s when we’re not fine, these end up becoming much more than small, momentary infractions. They multiply. And, each of these betrayals lead us further and further from being true to ourselves."

So how exactly do you define yourself? Do you want to be molded into someone you're not just because you want others to see you as they think you're? Probably someone who's strong enough to handle everything? Or being someone whom you think your friends will accept you for? Or maybe getting all the achievements your parents want you to get? Well, I really have no idea because I believe nobody is being 100% true or you can put it as truthful to anyone, not in a entirely bad way. I supposed, only you know yourself best and no one else does and maybe it's a matter of how you face it too.

I stare into space quite a lot lately too, pondering about any nitty gritty things that I don't have an answer for. But no, I'm not being emotional. Neither I am being negative about life. I'm just, maybe, confused and lost at this very moment.

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